We All Have Parts

Every family has a peacemaker. That one cousin or aunt who can glide into a tense holiday dinner, armed with a perfectly timed compliment or a distracting story, and instantly lower the temperature in the room. They are masters of social diplomacy, sensing the subtle shifts in tone and heading off arguments before they can even begin. But what happens when that same person goes home? Alone in their quiet apartment, another voice often takes over—one that’s exhausted, resentful, and tired of carrying the emotional weight for everyone else. It’s the voice that asks, 'Why do I always have to be the responsible one? When does someone take care of me?' The peacemaker and the resentful loner aren't two different people; they are two distinct parts of the same person, each with its own job, its own feelings, and its own history.

This internal conflict—the feeling of being pulled in different directions by competing inner voices—is a universal human experience. For licensed therapist Colleen West, it wasn’t just a concept she observed in her clients; it was a reality she navigated in her own life. After years of working within traditional therapy models that often treated these internal voices as symptoms to be managed or silenced, she felt a growing disconnect. The methods seemed to pit one part of a person against another, creating more internal struggle, not less. West wrote "We All Have Parts" to offer a more compassionate approach, one born from her professional practice and personal journey toward understanding that the goal is to listen to our parts and lead them with curiosity and care.

Module 1: The Anatomy of Trauma and Your Inner World

So, let's start with the foundational idea. Trauma is a severe injury that fundamentally changes your reality. The author, Colleen West, explains that trauma can stem from a single event or a long-standing pattern, like childhood neglect. The key is that it alters your ability to trust the world and even yourself.

This brings us to a crucial concept: the Window of Tolerance. This is a state where you can think clearly and feel your emotions at the same time. It’s your zone of optimal performance and peace. West argues that trauma survivors often operate outside their Window of Tolerance. When you're pushed above it, you enter hyper-arousal. You might feel panicked, hypervigilant, or full of rage. Sleep feels impossible. Conversely, when you're pushed below it, you enter hypo-arousal. You feel numb, disconnected, and chronically exhausted. It’s a state of shutdown. Recognizing which state you're in is the first step toward regaining balance.

Now, what actually pushes you out of this window? It's often your memories. But not in the way you might think. Trauma symptoms stem from implicit memories stored as interconnected chains. These are patterns of thoughts, images, emotions, and body sensations stored from past events. A present-day trigger—a specific tone of voice, a feeling of being trapped—can activate an entire chain. This is what we call a flashback. Your brain's emergency system, the amygdala, hijacks your thinking brain. It feels like the past is happening right now. During these moments, West suggests a simple practice: state, "This is a flashback. I feel afraid, but I am not in danger." This small act helps re-engage your prefrontal cortex, the part of you that can observe without being overwhelmed.

And here's the thing. Your body is trying to help. When your brain perceives a threat, it deploys automatic, whole-body responses. West identifies five core autonomic defenses: Freeze, Attach, Flight, Fight, and Submit. These are deep, neurobiological survival programs. You might feel a surge of rage, which is the Fight response. Or you might find yourself unable to speak up, a Freeze response. West's core insight here is that your symptoms are your body’s automatic defenses at work. Understanding this shifts the narrative from "What's wrong with me?" to "What is this part of me trying to protect me from?"