Butt Seriously

We treat the body like a house with one conspicuously locked room. We obsessively clean the kitchen, redecorate the living room, and landscape the yard, but we pretend that one door at the end of the hall doesn't exist. We don't talk about it, we don't look at it, and we certainly don't ask what's inside. This deliberate ignorance is the architecture of a private crisis. By treating a fundamental part of our anatomy as a taboo, we transform a neutral biological reality into a source of shame, anxiety, and profound medical neglect. Our silence doesn't make the room go away; it just ensures that when something inevitably goes wrong inside, we are utterly unprepared, isolated, and without a language to even ask for help.

This conspicuous blank space on our collective internal map became the life's work of Dr. Evan Goldstein. As a nationally renowned proctologist and founder of Bespoke Surgical, he spent years in the clinical trenches, witnessing firsthand how a lack of straightforward information was causing preventable suffering. He saw that the universal questions his patients had—about health, pleasure, and hygiene—were being met with awkward silence or outright misinformation. Dr. Goldstein realized the problem was cultural. He wrote "Butt Seriously" to finally unlock that door, replacing shame with science and awkwardness with an open, honest, and even humorous conversation about a part of the body that is integral to everyone's well-being.

Module 1: Demystifying the Anatomy and Desire

Let's start with the basics. The book argues that to master any system, you first need to understand its design. This is especially true for the anus, a complex area most of us know very little about. A core argument is that the ass is anatomically designed for pleasure. The entire region is packed with sensitive nerve endings. For people with a prostate, the P-spot can be stimulated through the rectal wall, leading to powerful orgasms. For people with a vagina, the A-zone—a dense network of nerves connected to the clitoris—can also be stimulated through anal play. The author's point is simple: if a body part can provide pleasure, there's no reason not to enjoy it safely.

This brings us to the next point: desire for anal sex is widespread. Anal sex is practiced across all genders and sexual orientations. The book cites multiple surveys showing that interest and participation cut across all genders and sexual orientations. For instance, CDC data showed nearly half of men aged 15-44 reported having anal sex with an opposite-sex partner. Another survey found 43% of straight-identifying men had tried it. The interest is there. The problem is a lack of reliable information, which leads directly to the myths that hold people back.

So what are those myths? The big ones are pain, mess, and damage. The book systematically dismantles them. Pain, mess, and incontinence are symptoms of poor technique. Dr. Goldstein argues these are symptoms of poor technique, not inherent features of the act itself. Pain is a signal that you’re doing something wrong, likely rushing or lacking preparation. Mess is less common than people fear because of how human anatomy stores waste. And the idea that anal sex leads to permanent looseness is largely a myth, especially with proper muscle conditioning. These fears are a product of ignorance, not reality. The solution, the book argues, is education.

Module 2: The Six-Week Booty Camp — A Dilation Protocol

Once you understand the anatomy, the next step is training. The book makes a powerful claim: successful, pain-free anal sex requires active physical conditioning. You can’t just jump in and expect good results. This is where Dr. Goldstein introduces his structured "Six-Week Dilation Plan," a core framework of the book. The goal is to train your body for a new kind of physical activity.

First, you need the right mindset. Dilation is a form of self-care. The author stresses that this training should be done alone at first. This removes performance anxiety. It allows you to focus completely on your body's signals. You’re learning to listen to your muscles and skin. This is about building body literacy. You have to be relaxed, patient, and treat it as an act of personal exploration.

Next up, you need the right equipment. The book is very specific here. Use the right tools for the job: a medical-grade dilator and high-quality lube. A dilator is a tool designed for stretching, not a sex toy designed for pleasure. Dr. Goldstein recommends conical, glass dilators because they are hygienic, durable, and their weight provides helpful feedback. Equally important is lubricant. The anus doesn't self-lubricate. The book’s advice is blunt: you can never use too much. Silicone-based lube is often recommended for its superior slickness and endurance. Using the wrong tools, or not enough lube, is a direct path to pain and injury.

Now, let's get to the actual training protocol. It’s a step-by-step process. A slow, methodical dilation protocol is essential for building skill and preventing injury. The process is simple but must be followed precisely. You start with the smallest dilator. Apply lube generously. Gently insert the dilator until you feel resistance from the sphincter muscle. Hold it there. Breathe deeply for a few seconds until the muscle relaxes. Then, you can insert it fully. You repeat this process in sets, 2-3 times a week, over six weeks. You gradually move from the smallest dilator to medium, and then to large. This is about building muscle memory and skin elasticity over time. It’s a workout. And like any workout, consistency and proper form are everything. For those who still struggle, the book also covers advanced options like pelvic floor therapy or even medical interventions like Anal Botox injections, which can temporarily relax the muscles and make training much easier.