This Was Meant to Find You

Think of the last time a piece of clothing didn't fit anymore. Maybe it was a favorite shirt, now a little too tight across the shoulders, or jeans that used to be perfect but now pinch at the waist. The fabric hasn't changed, the stitches are all still there, but your body has. You've grown, shifted, lived. For a while, you might try to make it work, pulling and adjusting, holding your breath to fasten a button. But eventually, you have to acknowledge the truth: this isn't for you anymore. It represents a past version of yourself, a shape you no longer hold.

Letting go feels like a small grief. It’s the memory of who you were when you wore it. This quiet, personal act of acceptance—of acknowledging that growth requires release—is the very space Charlotte Freeman writes from. Her own journey through heartbreak and healing felt like standing in a closet full of beautiful things that no longer fit. She needed new words, new thoughts, new ways of being that honored the person she was becoming, not the person she had been. Writing "This Was Meant to Find You" was her way of stitching together a new wardrobe for the soul, creating pieces of prose and poetry meant to comfort and fit the person you are right now, in this very moment of your own becoming.

Module 1: Redefining Strength as Radical Self-Compassion

We often think of strength as pushing through pain. It’s about being tough. It's about never showing weakness. But what if real strength is something softer? Freeman suggests a radical shift. True strength is the courage to be kind to yourself, especially when it feels undeserved. This is about giving yourself the same grace you’d give a trusted colleague or a close friend who just failed.

Think about it. When a teammate messes up, you don't berate them. You help them find a solution. You offer support. Yet, when we make a mistake, our inner critic goes on the attack. Freeman argues this self-flagellation is counterproductive. It drains our energy for the real work: learning and moving forward. The book encourages you to treat yourself with kindness during hardship. Acknowledge that difficult seasons are temporary and shared by many. You are not alone in your struggle.

So, how do you put this into practice? Start by validating your own emotions. It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling right now. Anxiety, burnout, and frustration are signals. They are data points telling you something needs to change. Freeman urges readers to stop judging their feelings and start listening to them. If you feel unproductive, that’s okay. Maybe your mind and body are telling you they need a break. The most productive people are masters of managing their energy, which includes strategic rest.

From this foundation, we can build a new habit. You must learn to forgive yourself for mistakes made during your growth process. Every successful founder, engineer, and leader has a graveyard of failed projects and bad calls. They succeeded by learning from imperfection. Freeman frames mistakes as tuition paid for valuable experience. When you make an error, instead of punishing yourself, ask a simple question: "What did this teach me?" This shifts you from a cycle of shame to a cycle of growth. It’s a powerful reframe.

Module 2: The Art of Intentional Letting Go

We're told to accumulate things. Skills, contacts, achievements. But what about the things we need to discard? Freeman's work is a powerful argument for subtraction. To grow, you must let go. This is about decluttering your mind and your life. It starts with a simple, powerful truth: Happiness requires releasing relationships, beliefs, and expectations that create emotional burdens.

Let's get specific. One of the heaviest burdens is the one-sided relationship. It could be a professional connection or a personal one. You give and give, but the energy never comes back. Freeman is direct about this. She says these connections drain your soul. Letting them go is an act of self-preservation. You have a finite amount of energy. Spend it where it’s reciprocated.

Another thing to release is the pressure to be everything at once. This is a trap many high-achievers fall into. You feel you must be a perfect leader, a perfect partner, and a perfect friend, all at the same time. This is an impossible standard. You are allowed to change, evolve, and put yourself first. Freeman argues that personal evolution is necessary. The goals you set five years ago might not serve you today. The person you were is not the person you have to be. Giving yourself permission to change is liberating. It allows you to pivot without guilt.

And here's the thing. Letting go is often hardest when your head and heart disagree. Your mind knows a situation is toxic. Your heart still feels an attachment. Freeman acknowledges this conflict. She says it’s normal. The heart often lags behind the head. But she offers a clear directive: Trust your inner discomfort; it is a guide for change. That nagging feeling that something is off? It’s your intuition telling you a course correction is needed. Don't ignore it. Don't rationalize it away. Listen to it. Your future self will thank you.